FAN CLUB
by makacatori
Summary: YAOI, High school. What would happen if Sasuke suddenly became a Naruto fan boy? Uh oh... killer intent? Evil, Evil fan girls... Horny Sasuke, Itachi, Gaara and Neji HAITUS
1. Chapter 1

**FAN CLUB**

**WARNING: **YAOI SasuNaru, language, violence and eventual sex scenes… don't like don't read

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Naruto

A/N: I'm going to break down each chapter into two parts. Also this was originally going to be a one-shot, so I don't think this will be too long. As for my other stories… they're on HIATUS due to computer problems, but I'll update them as soon as I can. My other story I'll be working on is GENERIC… okay, have fun -TK

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

**PART ONE of Chapter One**

Sasuke Uchiha was about to get a surprise today. Sasuke the school heartthrob, son of the wealth millionaire who owned ½ the world, Sasuke brother of bad boy singer Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke a. k. a. the ice heart prince will fall in love today. And it would be for none other than his grade school rival, who disappeared for eleven years Uzumaki Naruto.

This day started like any other typical day in the Uchiha household "Sasuke have you seen my thong?" Itachi screamed throwing open his little brother's bedroom door.

Sasuke jolted awake only to wish he hadn't "Jesus Christ, Itachi cover yourself!" Sasuke pleaded hiding his head under his blankets.

"I can't do that without my thong!"

"No I don't know where your thong is! And why the hell do you have a thong?" Asked Sasuke through his blankets.

"Well you see my boxers make me look like I have permanent hard on when I wear them with my black leather pants, but a thong doesn't. It has smooth lines."

"Then don't wear underwear. No lines!"

"But what if I DO get a hard on?" Itachi whined.

"AH! Too much information! Going nuts! AH!" Was heard throughout all of Konoha as Sasuke leapt from his bed and slammed the door in his older brother's face.

"What it's not like you don't get them too!" Itachi said behind the door and then stomped his back to his own room.

"Why would I know where your thong was in the first place?" Sasuke muttered darkly and headed towards his private Jacuzzi. After a long soak, Sasuke tied his shoulder-length silk black hair in a loose low ponytail. He then put on his uniform, which was comprised of long dark blue pants, a white dress shirt and a skinny blue tie.

Sasuke went down to breakfast, said goodbye to both his parents, avoided his older brother and walked to school.

Yep, a normal day in the Uchiha household.

**KONOHA HIGH SCHOOL**

School seemed different today, maybe he was mentally scarred from seeing his brother naked, but it seemed there were a lot less eyes on him, the whispering had increased though and he could barely hear something along the lines of "So who do you think is hotter? Sasuke or the newbie?" "I don't know…"

'_So there was a newbie? A hot newbie that could rival him. This was interesting. So how could he use-' _the bell rang he was late for class!

Sasuke made it too homeroom just before the last bell rung. Sliding into his customary seat only to find himself in someone's lap.

Sasuke and the poor victim of this unusual attack sat staring at each other for a moment dumb founded as to how they ended up in this position.

The boy was skinny, so skinny it looked like he would easily break. Thin, silky, wild, golden hair framed an oval face, big entrancing blue eyes, full delicious looking pink lips, three curious scars on each cheek, tall maybe 6 feet at the max. Four inches shorter than the broad Sasuke. Perfect tan skin and the sweet smell of innocence, honey and rain.

'_This is wrong…'_ Sasuke thought… _'He should be on top. Unless we were horizontal and then…"_ The blond blushed uncomfortably _'Aw he's so cute when he blushes!'_ Sasuke unconsciously leaned towards the blonde's lips, but suddenly a fist connected with his face and Sasuke sprawled onto the floor. The blond looked down confused at Sasuke, while messaging his hand.

"What the fuck!" Sasuke yelled. _'Gees, the boy doesn't look it, but he's got a good punch'_ thought Sasuke as he message his swelling jaw.

"You were about to kiss me!" The blond glared down at Sasuke. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in irritation and he blushed with embarrassment.

"Sure, whatever Dobe." The boy's eyes got large and he stood up as Sasuke did. _'Does he want a fight? I really don't want to hurt him… no let me rephrase that… I don't want to touch him or I might just have a little problem.'_

Suddenly the blond latched onto Sasuke's chest screaming "SASUKE!" _'Okay make little problem into big problem. Trying not to molest him… wait… he knows my name? _And then it registered blue eyes, golden hair, and 3 scars on every cheek "Naruto?" Sasuke asked holding Naruto at arms length not only to get a look at him. Naruto nodded. "You look so-"

"Different? Yah! No more evil spiky hair or pasty skin!" Naruto said smiling.

"Where have you been?" Sasuke asked suddenly angry. Naruto looked down to hide the tears the tears that gathered in his eyes.

"The Old man (Naruto's 1st Guardian) kicked the can, he died. Some bastard named Orochimaru plowed him over with a car… I've been living with his friend Tsunade-ba-chan in Florida. I was recently adopted." Naruto sniffled and Sasuke couldn't help, but to lift Naruto's chin to look in his eyes and wipe his tears away.

"I'm sorry Naruto." Sasuke said hugging him_. 'Okay bad move.'_ After a few seconds Naruto pulled away, smiled at Sasuke a moved a seat over. Just then did they finally realize they had an audience of glassy-eyed drooling fan girls. Both blushed and then the door was thrown open and their teacher entered.


	2. Chapter 1 part 2

**FAN CLUB**

**WARNING: **YAOI SasuNaru, language, violence and eventual sex scenes… don't like don't read

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Naruto

A/N: I'm going to break down each chapter into two parts. Also this was originally going to be a one-shot, so I don't think this will be too long. As for my other stories… they're on HIATUS due to computer problems, but I'll update them as soon as I can. My other story I'll be working on is GENERIC… okay, have fun -TK

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

**PART TWO of Chapter One**

Kakashi walked into his classroom, stopped and stared in awe. _He had never seen such a display of masculine beauty. But the pose was wrong. Sasuke should be on top with his hard member in_—Kakashi the pervert of perverts, who fantasized about other, perverts doing their stuff… took just that moment to get an imagination overload and faint from a nose bleed.

The two blushing boys took their respective seats. Unfortunately Naruto wouldn't be in his for very long. The still drooling YAOI fan girls and boys… add in some perturbed, confused and/or freaked students, suddenly heard something that could only be compared to two rhinos in tap shoes barreling down the hallway coming closer and closer. Then they could hear the angry snorts and snarls. Everyone paled _'what exactly was making its way towards Kakashi's classroom?_'

And then in the true fashion of a stampede the pink abomination in pink high heels (Sakura) and the screeching blond accompaniment in blue heels (Ino) trampled over the poor prone figure of Kakashi. '_Phew! It was only Sasuke fan girls!'_

However, not everyone was put at ease for now Sasuke found himself caught between two oncoming beasts, whose collision would surely result in casualties. Sasuke looked to his left were a very scared blond sat paralyzed. Just before the collision could crush the frightened blond, Sasuke reached to pull poor innocent Naruto into his lap away from harm. But before his hands touched Naruto…

Someone pulled Naruto out of his seat in the lecture hall over the back a desk and into their lap.

Smack, Smack

Glomp, Glomp

"I win billboard head!"

"You did not! I touched Sasuke first!"

"No I did. You—"

The object of their affection however was not paying the slightest attention as they got into a shouting match, no Sasuke was glaring at certain red head holding a blushing blond to his chest, protectively.

At first, Gaara thought it was a good move to pull Naruto into his lap, but then he found himself struggling with an issue he really didn't want the blond to notice.

TOO LATE! Naruto jumped out of Gaara's lap like a bee had stung him in the behind. Naruto glowered and stared accusingly at the beet red, red head. He quickly picked up his backpack and took a seat across the room from Gaara muttering darkly.

NARUTO P.O.V.

Okay now I get why everyone was staring at me at the admission's office, in the hallways, Sasuke and Mr. Molester-red-head. They think I'm cute! To top it off I bet 1/2 … no scratch that, all of the males that looked at my fucking ass are perverts!

Unless I have a spot on my pants… that would be awkward

Anyway… They might think I would make the perfect UKE! But from now on I'm SEME and a hard catch! No more mister nice guy "Time to whoop some ass!" Wait did I say that out loud?

"Aw he's so cute!" They said as I blushed furiously. ARGH must stop being cute. I grabbed my pencil and note book and wrote:

1. No speaking thoughts out loud

2. No blushing

I bit my lip thinking. A guy in front of me fainted.

3. No biting lip when thinking

Frustrate I threw my pencil at the unconscious boy in front of me. THIS WAS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! Immediately two boys on either side of my unconscious victim began to fight over my pencil. I sighed in frustration and someone took a picture of me. I blinked and looked for a camera but found none. I sunk down in my chair and hid behind my backpack. Could my life get any worse? Don't answer that!

**Well I'm stopping for now! Hope you enjoyed… expect more soon!**

**-TK**


	3. Chapter 2

**FAN CLUB**

**WARNING: **YAOI SasuNaru, language, violence and eventual sex scenes… don't like don't read

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Naruto

A/N: I'm going to break down each chapter into two parts. Also this was originally going to be a one-shot, so I don't think this will be too long. As for my other stories… they're on HIATUS due to computer problems, but I'll update them as soon as I can. My other story I'll be working on is GENERIC… okay, have fun –TK

PS: SORRY ABOUT THE SHORT CHAPTER more later today

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

**PART ONE of Chapter TWO**

Naruto took 2 steps forward glancing over his shoulder he saw the crowd behind him take 2 steps forward. Taking to 2 steps back he saw the crowd do the same. "Ahhh! Screamed Naruto as he took of running.

"Naruto-Chan, come back! We love you! You're so cute!" the crowd screamed chasing after him.

Naruto ran all the way to his modest suburban home, fumbled with his keys and was in. He slammed the door and bolted it. Breathing hard he leaned against it. Suddenly someone hit the doorbell making Naruto shriek in terror.

"Coming!" Called Naruto's adoptive father, Iruka. Iruka came into the hall, stopped and stared. "Naruto, why are you blocking the door?"

"They want my butt! They want to – gasp- fuck my butt!" Naruto managed before sitting down hard, gasping. _' I absolutely refuse to let them taint my son's innocence!'_ Iruka thought. _'Time to take drastic actions'._

Iruka went to the kitchen, snatched up a butcher knife, pealed Naruto off of the door and threw it open. "Anyone who wants my some has to go through me!" Iruka cried waving his knife about menacingly.

"Oh so cute!" Said several boys before EVERY ONE of them fainted. Naruto and Iruka sweat dropped.

"I think you just made it worse dad." Naruto deadpanned.

Son and Father backed into the house nervously and bolted the door before covering the windows.

**Now that's a good example of 'Like father, like son!' Oh so cute!**


	4. Chapter 2 part 2

**FAN CLUB**

**WARNING: **YAOI SasuNaru, language, violence and eventual sex scenes… don't like don't read

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Naruto

A/N: I'm going to break down each chapter into two parts. Also this was originally going to be a one-shot, so I don't think this will be too long. As for my other stories… they're on HIATUS due to computer problems, but I'll update them as soon as I can. My other story I'll be working on is GENERIC… okay, have fun -TK

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

**PART TWO of Chapter two**

School for the next couple of weeks was pretty much a redundant routine.

6:30 am -Look around bathroom for spy equipment that might catch he and/or Iruka naked/shower/breakfast

7:00 - Homeroom with Kakashi-sensei

a) Gaara (a.k.a. Mr. Molester-red-head) is in class, over all skin and protect butt at all costs

b) Hide or survey pencils at all times

c) Hide behind backpack or wear shades… Cameras # 12 on things to fear list

7:30 - Science with ANKO-sensei

a) Steal any milk products from lab partner, Choji (he doesn't thing he's lactose intolerant)

b) Bring gas mask as back up (Remember to ask Dad where the FUCK he got a GAS MASK!)

c) Be careful around ANKO- sensei she's a vampire! I have proof, check exhibit a7 and remember… she thinks my blood is special…

d) Follow guidelines from homeroom except rule (a)

8:15 - History with Jeraiya-sensei

a) Try not to look cute. Might end up in perverted YAOI ITCHI, ITCHI paradise novel

b) As precaution keep finger in nose… loosing dignity with finger in nose is better than loosing dignity being UKE in some perverted novel, in which ass whipping while chain in leather cuffs occurs

c) Watch perverted-sensei like hawk. He pulls perverted pranks

d) Only YAOI girl fans, just avoid cameras

9:30 - GYM class with Gai-sensei

a) REMIND me why I exist god? Haven't you punished me enough? I mean having a hairy man in a leotard in face, as being forced to **'build flames of youth' **is just too much!

b) Again why are you punishing me? Bad enough hairy man in leotard, now enter hairy boy in leotard as gym partner…

c) Oh come on! I'm pleading here! PLEASE make Gai-sensei believe I'm not a girl…. I really don't want to wear girl's uniform…. GAARA'S in class in this breaks rule (a) from homeroom… TOO much skin

d) Also please god make BUTT TARGET exercise (formerly known as SQUATS) not exist

10:15 - Economics class with Tsunade-sensei

a) Hide wallet… demonstrations actually elaborate scheme to steal money

b) All rules from homeroom apply

The rest of day was pretty much following Homeroom guidelines, but throw in a few improv and it was SAFE… getting home was a hassle too, worse was trying to convince Iruka there was something wrong with the stove before it was too late.

But sometimes parents just don't listen.

Iruka and Naruto stood outside their house as the firefighters struggled to put out the flames. _'Damn and just as I finally got Naruto all settled in.'_

"It's okay Dad… you're human after all. Its okay… but I really don't understand why you put a plastic teapot on the stove."

"Yah… about that… he, he, he… I didn't know it was plastic."

"…?"

Iruka got scared at Naruto's unnatural silence.

"DAD DO I HAVE TO GET A BABYSITTER YOU!" Was heard all over Konoha.

"I'd like to volunteer!" Said a seductive voice behind Iruka. Both Iruka and Naruto spun around.

"ARGH! No absolutely not you! Pervert! Pervert! You want my DAD'S BUTT!" Naruto yelled at his grey haired teacher… you guess it… Kakashi-sensei!

**So next chapter… Naruto and Iruka get a new home… but with whom?**


End file.
